Daily I see postings on social media of those who feel or believe they have been wronged by someone. Some, in my opinion, not so nice and contain too much information. The pains of being betrayed or let down by someone they considered to be a friend are not only blasted on social media but also told to anyone within earshot. Yes, the people are hurt as someone did them wrong. Can the relationship be saved though?

Relationships can be saved if the parties involved really want and value the relationship. The fact of the matter is we are all subject to hurt another in any relationship. Do we toss the relationship and say “I knew they would hurt me” or “I knew it was too good to be true” or do we put on our big girl panties (if you’re a woman), suck it up, confess your part in the demise of the relationship and allow restoration to take place?

Remember, one person cannot save a relationship: all parties involved much be willing to do their part in the restoration process.

Life is too short for unnecessary drama! Each and every day we are at a loss of words as we hear of this one or that one transitioning. Is holding onto anger, hurts, betrayals, worth risking losing your rewards in heaven or your peace of mind here? I say not…but that’s just my opinion.

Is the constant back and forth bickering really worth it in the end? Again I say no.

Let me give you my list of “Thou shall not’s” Here they are:

  1. Thou shall not go to bed angry from hurts, real or imagined. Empty yourself daily.
  2. Thou shall not post on social media sites the drama between you and another unless it’s for the purpose of sharing something that can help another not fall into a trap. Use Godly wisdom.
  3. Thou shall not allow anyone to use you as a doormat. Remember people only do to you what you allow them to, so why get mad at another when you have ALLOWED it.
  4. Thou shall not rehash each and every day the wrongs someone has done to you. Hello! You have wronged some yourself. Look at the person in the mirror before you are so quick to bash another, think about whether or not you have wronged someone, and then give that person the same mercy you would want someone to give you. I’m just saying!
  5. Thou shall not get family and friends involved in the drama. In marriage relationships many tell a family member the wrong someone has done to them and then just won’t leave it alone. They tell it over and over again. Now you’ve drawn that person into the relationship and guess what? When the two of you make up often the family member is still upset and now unwilling to forgive, unable to understand why you permitted the person entrance back into your life, while the two of you are happy once more. Now you’re upset with the family members because they just don’t understand. SMH
  6. Thou shall not live life based on other’s definition of who you are. Be unapologetically you.
  7. Thou shall realize that some relationships need to end and leave it there. Move on.
  8. Thou shall realize that bashing another serves no purpose other than perhaps making you FEEL better about a situation for a minute. Vengeance belongs to the Lord. If someone has truly wronged you and you’ve done everything in your power to restore the relationship, and you KNOW in your heart you have done them no wrong, God will either show them their ways, restore the relationship, or sever it letting you know that it was only for a season. Trust God!

Can this relationship be restored? Yes relationships can be restored. Keep in mind though that some are meant to be and others are not.

While you are focusing on restoring relationships with humans, make sure your relationship with God is and stays intact. Many songs speak to me. Alexander O’Neal sang the song “What’s Missing”. A part of it goes, “We used to have good love, looked around and now it’s gone. Used to have good love, let’s try to find out what’s missing.” I know some are too spiritual to relate to this. My point is when you believe your relationship with God is not where you want it to be or where it once was, think about what’s missing. Same thing it took to get the relationship, it takes the same thing to keep it. So if you were once praying, fasting, reading your bible daily, going to church regularly, associating with believers and find that now you’re kind of lukewarm, get your fire back by going back and doing what you did that worked. God didn’t move so who did?

Get your relationship right with God and the rest will follow. The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing! (Jewel Diamond Taylor)

Peace and Blessings!