Letting Go Ann Landers

Codependent relationships are a type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement.(Wikipedia)

My, my, my! If you’re like me, I’m sure you can see where you have had at least one relationship that was a codependent one.

Let’s break this down–

  1. Codependent is a dysfunctional relationship.
  2. Codependent is where one person supports or enables another person’s addiction.
  3. Codependent is where one person supports or enables poor mental health of another.
  4. Codependent is where one person supports or enables immaturity.
  5. Codependent is where one person supports or enables under-achievement.
  6. Codependent is where one person supports or enables!
  7. A co-dependent relationship hinders one from growing

Key words shown above are dysfunctional, supports, enables, and hinders. Hmm?

There are some warning signs that will alert you if you think you may be in a codependent relationship. Don’t ignore the warning signs or brush them off like we so often do. It hurts you as with the recipient of your “unbridled love and affection” which often leads to the recipient being shocked into reality by some major catastrophe.

This could be the death or loss of a loved one that has enabled one for so long. It is at that point many often proclaim out loud–“Now what am I going to do?”

It could be the loss of a job or other things that they’ve grown accustomed to and took for granted that has them holding their heads in their hands sobbing uncontrollably, again asking the same question.

We do not have to let it get to that point! Once you recognize that you are doing more harm than good in a relationship, set out to reverse the process by letting the person go. It might be, no it will be, very painful, but in the end, prayerfully the person will grow into a mature, responsible adult. It’s in the holding on that holds off their progress. Let them go! For God’s sake, if you love them, let them go!

You may say, but how? That’s my baby, my brother, my sister, my aunt, my_________.Rest assured we are not in control of the outcome of what happens to others, but I have found in my many years of life, when the rubber meets the road and people know they have to do something, they find a way to do it.

Giving someone too much latitude and allowing negative behavior to go on year after year after year hurts them as well as you. Let them go!.

Something to Think About:

Do you really want to see your friends and loved ones grow into mature adults? Do you, or have you given to others things you think they need as opposed to what they really need which often consists of teachings, saying no, and allowing them to pay for their own mistakes? Or are you constantly picking them up time after time again? If you love them, let them go and grow. Both of you will be the better for it. Just a little something to think about when your precious Poo Poo comes with their entitlement mentality.  Ah no sister, it’s time for you to grow! 🙂

Say this aloud: Because I love you, I am letting you go and grow. And though it pains me to do so, the pain of holding on and enabling you is much worse. So, out of my deepest love for you, I allow you to spread your wings and fly knowing that sometimes you will fall, BUT I know a God that can help you as He helps me daily, if only you will surrender to and trust in Him.


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